Time just goes by so slow.

Lately my self-confidence/self-esteem has been really low. All my life I’ve been criticized about my weight. Particularly by my family. Though I am considered “normal weight”… Let’s be honest, I don’t look skinny. I am a little thicker than most petite Asian girls. All my friends know me as this fierce, sassy, tiny girl who looks like she has all the confidence. But honestly, I have the lowest self-esteem. Reading this you may think, “Oh, she’s just saying this to get attention” but I’m not. I flaunt what I have & who I am because I’m so depressed inside. I constantly find myself obsessing over these “skinny girls” wanting to look like them. Yes, I have an ass, legs & maybe a little bit of boobs, but I also have a chubby face, flabby arms & a pudgy stomach. I hate the way I physically look. It hurts when my guy tells me I’m beautiful because I don’t feel it. No one is perfect & I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I should just accept myself but I just can’t. Fearing that one day I’m not going to be good enough anymore. Though my guy has his own flaws, I find him to be absolutely perfect. I wouldn’t change anything about him. Even if he feels the same way about me, I can’t help but not to believe it. There are rare times when I do feel feel confident & take pride in my thickness, but things change. I want to be able to wear fashionable clothes without looking slutty. I want to be able to take pictures & not worry about a certain angle that makes me look fat. I want to be noticed. I just want to be happy with my body. I know I control my own happiness, so it’s finally time for a change.